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One Side: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?